61 Best Valentine’s Day Jokes

Valentine’s Day is all about spreading love. Whether you have a partner or not, you can celebrate this romantic day having fun. One of the best ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day is by sharing jokes that will make everyone’s stomach hurt with laughter. Host a Valentine’s Day-themed party, arrange some exciting games, and share these uproarious one-liners and hilarious jokes with everyone.

To jazz up your party night, we have gathered some funny jokes for kids, some witty jokes for couples, and some super sarcastic jokes for all the single people in the house. Check them out!

21 Valentine’s Day Jokes For Kids

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1. This Little Pun

Q: What do you call a very small Valentine?
A: A Valen-tiny.

2. This Truthful Pun

I gave blood today.
It may not be the best Valentine’s Day present, but at least it came from the heart.

3. And This Thoughtful Pun

Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A: I find you very attractive

4. You Want To Keep Laughing At This…

Q: How did the phone propose?
A: He gave her a ring.

5. A Killer One

Q: What kind of Valentine’s Day candy is never on time?
A: Choco-late.

6. Animal Love

Q: What do owls say to declare their love?
A: Owl be yours!

7. This Ultimate Truth

Q: What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day?
A: The day after, when all the candy is on sale.

8. This “Berry” Funny Joke

Q: What did one berry say to the other berry on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love you “berry” much

9. This One About Bunny Love

Q: What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A: Somebunny loves you!

10. A Precious Knock-Knock One

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Emma.
Emma who?
“Emma” hoping I get lots of cards on Valentine’s Day!

11. And Here’s Some More

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Luke
Luke who?
“Luke” who got a Valentine!

12. This Ghostly Proposal

Q: What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A: “I love BOO!”

13. And This Gem

Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, they had an apple!

14. We Can’t “Espresso” How Funny This Is

Q: What’s the perfect thing to say to a coffee-lover on Valentine’s Day?
A: “Words cannot espresso what you mean to me.”

15. This Cute One

Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted to have sweet dreams.

16. This Bee Love

Q: What did the girl bee say to the boy bee on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love bee-ing with you, honey!

17. This Masterpiece

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand…

18. Heres’s A Classic One

Q: What did the boy bear say to the girl bear on Valentine’s Day?
A: I love you bear-y much!

19. This egg-cited egg

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Egg!
Egg who?
Egg-cited to be your Valentine!

20. This Epic One

Q: How can you tell the calendar is popular?
A: It has lots of “dates.”

21. This Criminal Offence

Q: Why did the man have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: Because she stole his heart.

20 Valentine’s Day Jokes for Adults

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1. This Husband Who’s In Trouble

If there’s one thing I hate about Valentine’s Day…it’s my wife.

2. This Classic One

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

3. You’ll Keep Laughing

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy.
The reception, however, was excellent.

4. Poor Man

Boyfriend: “Honey, on this Valentine’s Day, I want to tell you something… I’m not rich like Jack, I don’t have a mansion like Russell or a Porsche like Martin. But, I do love you and want to marry you.”
Girlfriend: “Oh, dear… I love you too… But, what was that you said about Martin?”

5. This Funny Excuse

If I could, I would wrap up all my love for you and put it in a gift box. But, they don’t make boxes large enough!

6. This Romantic Pun

To my beloved husband. You are the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow. And you don’t disappear when I get close to you!

7. This Rhyming Warning

Roses are red,
The grass is green,
Take me to Valentine’s dinner,
Or I’ll make a scene!

8. This Hilarious Exhibition Of Love

You are my sweet Valentine. I like you like a fat kid likes cake.

9. And Another One

Love is like peeing your pants – everyone can see it but only you can feel it. Thanks for being the pee in my pants

10. This Sweet Caution

You plan more for Valentine’s Day than Russia prepared for the Olympics.

11. This Poor Man

If my girlfriend doesn’t behave nicely to me this Valentine’s Day, I’m totally going to show my rage and be in this shitty relationship for 2 more years.

12. This Romantic Proposal

Boyfriend: What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
Girlfriend: Tell me.
Boyfriend: “We’re a perfect match.”

13. These Expectations

I just got a text from my girlfriend that said, “I bought you an awesome Valentine’s Day gift! xox”
I really hope she spelled ‘Xbox’ wrong.

14. This Daring Man

My wife rang me at work on Valentine’s Day.
She said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received bunches of flowers. They’re absolutely gorgeous.”
I said, “That’s probably why they’ve been sent flowers then.”

15. Whenever You Realize…

Last Valentine’s Day, my fiancée of four years bought me a lottery ticket and I won $5 million.
I wonder what she’s doing nowadays…

16. Men Will Be Men

I’ve just booked a table for my girlfriend and me on Valentine’s Day.
I hope she knows how to play snooker.

17. This Ignorant Being

For the last twenty years, I’ve received a Valentine’s Day card from the same secret admirer.
So, I was upset when I didn’t get one this year.
First my granny dies, now this?

18. This Confusion

My girlfriend told me she hoped I had something special planned for Valentine’s Day.
I said, “I’m working on it.” She smiled.
Which was weird because I thought she’d be upset that I have go to work on Valentine’s Day.

19. This Sassy One

This year, I’ve gotten my wife a Valentine’s Day present that will really take her breath away.
A treadmill.

20. This Remarkable Pun

I think Cupid must need glasses. The last time I dated a girl, he missed my heart but hit my wallet.

20 Valentine’s Day Jokes For Singles

1. This Sad Truth

Q: What is the difference between a calendar and you?
A: A calendar has a date on Valentine’s Day.

2. This Person Who Embraced Self-Love On Valentine’s Day

I can’t wait for Valentine’s Day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone. That special someone is me.

3. This Is A Killer

If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember… Nobody loves you on any other day either.

4. And Another One…

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Don’t worry if you’re single. You’re going to die alone anyway!

5. When You Learn Things

On your first date with a guy, don’t give him a list of mistakes made by your previous boyfriends to take home and study.

6. This Ultimate Truth

That tingly feeling you get when you meet someone you’re really attracted to?
That’s common sense leaving your body.

7. This Will Keep You Laughing

What I say out loud: I don’t need any man in my life this Valentine’s Day. Men ain’t shit!
What I say on the inside: What demons do I need to summon to get a guy talk to me?

8. This Unique Perspective

Q: What do single people call Valentine’s Day?
A: Happy Independence Day!

9. This Realization

8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, 6,000,000,000+ people… AND I AM STILL SINGLE.

10. This Declaration

I am not scared of getting dumped on Valentine’s Day…because I don’t have a girlfriend.

11. The Perfect Valentine’s Day Celebration

I am going to spend my Valentine’s Day with my ex…box 360.

12. This Truly Helps

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Vodka costs less,
Than a dinner for two.

13. This Heart-Breaking Pun

Can’t wait to receive nothing on Valentine’s Day!

14. When You Are Strictly Not In Love

Couples on Valentine’s Day: “Love is in the air.”
Me: “No. Oxygen, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen are in the air.”

15. When You Hate Valentine’s Day

Keep calm and SCREW Valentine’s Day…because I’m single

16. And When You Hate It Even More…

Can we rename Valentine’s Day as Singles Awareness Day? Because you’re never more aware of the fact that you are single than this time of the year!

17. When You’re Really Not Into Valentine’s Day

I don’t need a Valentine.
I need a billion dollars and fast metabolism.

18. This Single Birdie Pun

All the single birds flew away…
Because they think that on Valentine’s Day, love is in the air!

19. This Smart Insult

You: “Siri, why am I single?”
Siri: *activates front camera*

20. Every Single’s Favorite

Do I have a date for Valentine ’s Day?
Yes, February 14th.

Laugh your heart out with these hilarious Valentine’s Day jokes. Send them to your loved ones and make this Valentine’s Day amusing for everyone! Leave your personal favorite Valentine’s Day jokes in the comments section below.

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