Dear Daddy, I Don’t Want You To Do These Things For My Marriage

Are you the only daughter to your parents? If yes, then you will totally relate to what I’m writing here. There’s so much joy when a girl is born into a family that has only been having boys born for generations. They relate the birth of a girl to the birth of a goddess in most families. And whether you agree or disagree, girls will always have a special place in every parent’s heart. As it’s the girls who start being responsible even before they reach an age that demands them to be one. And it’s true in most people’s lives, that the daughters bond more with their father. At least, in my case, this was true. My mom is the calmer one and I love and admire her for that. However, it’s in my dad’s eyes that I see more love and worry for me, both at the same time.

Welcome To My Story

There’s one worry in common for both mom and dad though, and that’s the worry of getting me wedded off peacefully. Firstly, I found them praying for a nice partner for their daughter because they naturally wanted a man who’d love and care for me more than they did. And when I fell in love with a man who I thought was fit to hold the title of my forever, they were elated. They told me they couldn’t find a better guy for me. And I thought that yes, my happily ever after story has already begun. But I was wrong, the reality of the word “marriage” was going to hit me very hard, to an extent that I’d started having arguments with the very dad I could never hurt.

And no, I wasn’t regretting my decision to get married. I was not okay with the amount of effort my family put into it, the exorbitant amount of money involved in making it happen. And, I wasn’t okay with increasing the number of guests in the list by calling some uncle or aunt to my wedding whose name I don’t even know. I always thought that my wedding is going to be a close people only affair, maybe 50-100 of my near and dear ones. I had no idea that this number would be multiplied by ten times when the guest list was being prepared. And I tried my best to reason it out with my dad that doing this wasn’t necessary, a simple court or temple wedding is all that I would want for us.

However, my dad didn’t budge to this request even a bit. And soon, I realized that weddings in India, or in general are about everything and everyone but you and your partner *rolls eyes*. Here’s an ode to all the frustrations, all the worries, all the helplessness I’m feeling a few months ahead of my d-day. Read on and maybe send a flying hug to me, okay?

Dear Daddy, Do Not Exhaust Your Savings For The Wedding

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Here’s the thing in India— whether you have money or not, the wedding needs to be grand. A thousand people need to be invited (minimum). And to a middle-class family, this is a huge spending. They at times end up taking wedding loans to fulfill this god-knows-who’s marriage norm. And yep, a loan like “wedding loan” exists! And as the days pass, I see my dad’s bank balance hitting an end almost. Why dad why? I didn’t want this and you know nothing would hurt me more than this.

Dear Daddy, Let Me Help, It’s My Wedding Too

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Another thing about Indian weddings is that the parents don’t think it’s not correct for their daughter to help them in organizing the wedding. They want their daughter to take care of herself, be in good health, and just rest. But, dad, how can I when I see you losing your mind on the smallest of the things for the wedding? Let me help, maybe if I handle a thing or two, you could focus better on other things.

Dear Daddy, Please Let The Wedding Be About Me And Not By The Norms Of Others

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The wedding needs to be treated like the affair of the couple and not like that of the society we live in. Often times, the bride-to-be is forced to agree to customs and traditions, she doesn’t want to do. A bride like me would want to have my own customs too. For example, I don’t want my dad to wash the feet of my husband-to-be, I find it disrespectful to both my dad and my partner. I’d rather have them both hugging each other instead. But, yeah, the society doesn’t allow!

Dear Daddy, Can We Start Doing Things That Will Make This Wedding Look Like A Celebration?

weddingsutra / Instagram

Silver articles for groom’s families? Check. Sarees for all the relatives? Check. Rooms for the hundred-odd relatives who can afford rooms on their own but we have to book. Check! Is this how I wanted my wedding preparations to sound? Hell no! All these aren’t easy to do. You need money, you need time to organize, and you know deep within your heart dad that all these aren’t even necessary. But you’re doing it with the fear of people complaining at the wedding. Dad, I want a wedding that makes us happy the most. Let’s start prepping for it in a way that we all happily do it? And we can do it by eliminating such unnecessary norms.

I know dad that everybody does this. Some do it because they can afford it; some are forced to do it to keep families happy. But dad, what if we don’t do it? Let’s be the change and all those people who cannot afford it will begin to follow our footsteps. If we don’t do it today, tomorrow a hundred other brides won’t do it too.

And to all the soon-to-be brides reading this, make sure the wedding is about your family and you. You can stop doing the customs that don’t make sense to you. Just try and be the change? And lastly, I Love You Dad!

The post Dear Daddy, I Don’t Want You To Do These Things For My Marriage appeared first on STYLECRAZE.

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