7 Reasons Marriages Fail In The First 5 Years

Life never warns us about anything, be it good times or bad times, life gives it to us the way it wants to. And we enjoy and whine over both unconditionally. Even when it comes to relationships, we know what we are getting into. Do we have an idea about how the journey is going to be? Absolutely not! We anyways start off on the journey. First, there’s love and that makes us feel alive, we start loving everything around us. We start dreaming a little more, we smile a little more too. Then we decide to take it to the next level which is marriage! It’s only when we step into this journey that within a short period of time we get this crushing realization that this whole journey of “till death do us apart” is a lot of work to do for the rest of our lives.

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What is it that drowns this boat of marriage? Well, it’s a combination of many things just like the combinations of things that made you fall for your partner earlier. We spoke to some marriage counselors, divorce lawyers, and wellness therapists when we got to know that 20 percent of married couples end up divorcing each other within the first five years of marriage (1). And the experts agreed that such fad does exist. And we found out seven reasons that make a couple divorce within the first five years of being together. Curious much? Let’s read them now.

1. Believing That Marriage Is The Cure

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This is one of the major mistakes that people make w.r.t. marriages. Firstly, you need to know the person whom you’re going to marry well enough to spend the rest of your life with them. An understanding about whom you are marrying matters!
Also, there’s another set of people who think marrying their SO will fix it all — we mean the issues between them! This doesn’t stand valid at all. If your partner loves partying and you’re thinking that getting the two of you into the marriage bond will change him and make him stop attending parties, you’re wrong. He can change, and he might not as well.

2. The In-laws Troubles

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Overbearing in-laws are a bit like a marital cliché, aren’t they? When you were just dating your partner, you didn’t have to be answerable to them. Marriage becomes a problem when you have no idea about what your in-laws expect of you after the wedding. If you’re alien towards the intentions of your in-laws, then you’re definitely in for a rude awakening after you’ve taken the vows. This causes a lot of friction in your wedding.

3. Any Un-discussed Debt

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Finances, as it is, in general, are very complicated contention in marriage. It could be the first year, the fifth or even the thirtieth year of your marriage, if there is any loan or any heavy debt that your partner has taken and you aren’t aware of it — it’s going to cause major problems. Also, remember that after you have wedded your SO, your finances are no longer yours. The word “US” applies to the finance department too.

4. Difference In Plans

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The secret to a successful marriage is having planned about how the married life is going to be. And while doing so, you need to figure a plan that works in favor of both of you. If your partner and you have different plans, it’s going to lead to fractures in the relationship. You need to agree concerning finances, religion, education, and of course, even your in-laws.

5. Disconnection In Marriage

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Life is fickle, we all know it! And it can come in between your marriage as well. We mean to say that work commitments, kids, etc. can keep your partner and you very busy individually because of which frivolity rises in your relationship. Make sure you never drift apart. Put efforts to do couple rituals like going for a walk together every morning or just heading for a staycation once a month. Stay connected; stay in love!

6. The Religious Differences

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When you see couples dating, you’ll seldom come across any who think or worry about religion or caste. But after marriage, it sure does come into the picture in a very prominent way. On holidays, family traditions start coming into the picture. Earlier you both would take leave to spend time with each other and after marriage, you both would be taking leaves for family functions or temple visits. You need to find a midway to this problem or else it will become a significant issue.

7. Not Being Open

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Life, together with marriage can be very hard. And if ever, one of you begins to feel more burdened than the other, it leads to discord. And this problem doubles when the person being burdened needs to be mum about the problem. And when it reaches the peak of frustration, the outburst of the burdened one, no matter how justified it may be, will still look overdramatic to the other. Therefore, it’s very important to be vocal about the opinions, about the challenges that both of you are facing with each other or in the marriage.

Marriage needs to be the most beautiful phase of your life. Therefore, you need to be sure about all its aspects and figure out the midways of all issues together with your partner. Only then it’s going to last for a lifetime and not just for five years.

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